Non-Musical Jokes
What has four legs but can't walk?

A table!

Why did the elephant eat the candle?

He wanted a light snack!

Why is the letter "G" scary?

It turns a host into a ghost

What did the spider do on the computer?

Made a website!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 789!

Why did the sheep say "moo"?

It was learning a new language!

Why did the boy eat his homework?

Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted cold hard cash!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on?

It let out a little wine!

What did the water say to the boat?

Nothing, it just waved.

What bow can't be tied?

A rainbow!

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

Every morning you'll rise and shine!

Why did the jelly wobble?

Because it saw the milk shake!

What has one head, one foot and four legs?

A Bed

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

He was a chicken.

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?

The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

Why did the birdie go to the hospital?

To get a tweetment.

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

A Clausterphobic

What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock?

A lawn mooer