Musical Jokes
No Musicians are safe, Sorry!

If you were missed out come back soon!

Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

The bassoon burns longer.

How do you make a double bass sound in tune?

Chop it up and make it into a xylophone.

What's the difference between a cello and a bass?

The bass just makes a bigger keg

What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

No one cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces.

Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his section noticed?

Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument

and the other half playing out of tune.


How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?

Give him a sheet of music.

Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?

He had to break a window to get the drummer out!

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

The lead singer.